The presenter of the Portuguese podcast "Somos Todos Malucos" has used the latest instalment of its "Intermédios" segment to explain why he is increasingly unwilling to make "fretes" — the effort of turning up to social commitments out of duty rather than desire. Describing himself as a homebody who likes to be settled at home, he said he no longer has the patience to go out at night or to agree to a long list of invitations, though he acknowledged that this sometimes means not seeing people he would like to see.
His clearest example is dinners and lunches in central Lisbon. Invitations to the Bairro Alto or Chiado areas, he said, are an automatic no, even when friends protest that they have not seen him for two years. His response, as he recounted it, is that anyone who really wanted to see him and knew that the busy centre of the city is not for him could have chosen another venue. He added that friends tend to take his honesty badly, whereas a small white lie — saying he had work, for instance — would be accepted without complaint, even if those same people suspected he was not telling the truth.
The host applied the same reasoning to a lunch scheduled for the day he was recording the episode, which he said was meant to mark the end of a work process. He considered attending for what he called institutional reasons, but weighed up a 40-minute journey, a restaurant that was not to his taste, a room full of people he did not know and a demanding week ahead. He stayed at home, recording the episode at lunchtime instead.
He was careful not to present his position as entirely correct. What he advocates is a point of equilibrium: not saying yes to everything, but not saying no to everything either, so as not to become, in his words, a complete hermit. When he does accept an invitation, he said he now follows through rather than inventing an excuse, because a constantly active mind will always find something to reproach itself for — either for having said yes or for having lied to get out of it. He cited a recent night in Porto, after an RFM event, when the comedian Hugo Sousa urged him to go out. He chose rest instead, told his friend openly that he would almost certainly not go, and later slept badly and thought he should have gone — but did not dwell on it. Not going out with a friend, he argued, does not mean not valuing that friend.
He also took aim at the habitual "we must get together sometime" that ends so many conversations, joking that there should be a legal deadline of 15 working days for actually arranging it. Alongside the reflections, the episode included scheduling news: his last show of the year, "Volte Já", takes place at the Aula Magna in Lisbon in exactly a week, with some tickets still available, and he said he doubts he will return to the Portuguese capital and its surroundings. A new episode with an unusual theme linked to something he did in childhood arrives on Wednesday, and the current season of "Somos Todos Malucos" has two more episodes before five special episodes made with the IPDJ. He noted that both podcasts are consumed mainly as audio, with good figures on platforms such as Spotify, iTunes and Castbox, and admitted he nearly skipped this episode because he was tired before deciding to honour his commitment to listeners.
Sources: Observador.